Thursday, September 30, 2010


Dear Mother Nature,

I think you slipped and accidentally knocked the dial from "Spring" to "Summer". Would you mind switching it back, I'm not ready for this hot weather yet.


Dear People on Bus 66,

Why don't any of you ever sit next to me? Since they have swapped the bendy bus for the smaller bus, quite often it fills up at Roma St and we are forced to sit next to strangers. However, no one ever sits next to me. I don't smell, I don't have tourettes, I don't take up one-and-a-half seats, so what's wrong with sitting with me?


Dear Nicole Corner Suite,

You are the most comfortable couch I have ever had. I love nestling in the corner of your chase, aka the money seat. However, if Damien comes home one more night this week and finds me asleep on the couch making cute little breathing noises (NOT snoring!) then I think I may be in trouble.

Heart you,

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I heart Groove Armada

So, Parklife was pretty rubbish. About an hour after we got there I realised that I am too old for this shit.

Reasons why I am too old...

I didn't have half my arse hanging out

I haven't been bulking up on steriods in preparation for the summer music festivals

I didn't wear thongs and have mud splashed all up the back of my legs

I didn't get so drunk or drugged that I didn't even make it in to the festival before security bailed me up and took me away

I didn't cut in front of 20 people at the bar by sneaking in the exit like a coward

I didn't push other people and try to physically walk through them when the crowd was lining up to get through to the main stage

I didn't stand with my back to the stage so that everyone on the hill behind could see me dance

I didn't join in the skanky last-ditch-attempt group-sharing make-up session in the ladies toilets at 8pm

I didn't miss out on Groove Armada's last performance in order to see bands that will play at every other music festival this year and next year and probably the year after

But, oh, were Groove Armada worth it! The were freaking awesome! Best. Performance. EVER! Honestly, it was on par with the magical musical moment that was Goldfrapp at Splendour. Tom and Andy and co seriously rocked it, and made up for the crapness that was the rest of the day.

As for the douchebags that were filing out half way through the set, leaving the Riverstage the most empty I have ever seen it at a music festival, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for leaving, it made the performance all the more amazing that I didn't have to fight with you for dance space, or hear you talking through the set, or deal with your posing and poncing.

I've got three months to recover from Parklife and get the rose-tinted-glass perspective, before I front up to Sunset Sounds in January....

"So I might have to be the one to turn the world around, put love where they had hate and make the world get down, and you might have to be the one to change it with me too, and if they try to stop us we'll say funk you too"
The Girls Say, Groove Armada

Monday, September 13, 2010


When I grow up I want to be a pyrotechnician. Seriously, I'm looking into what training I have to do. I was thinking I could do it via correspondence, but they might have a bit of trouble mailing the course materials to me...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Guest bloggers

So, a dear friend has offered to be a guest blogger and share with us the stories of the off-the-chain wedding she attended, slapping young boys in the face outside nightclubs, and the emotionally confused physicist neighbour. What do we reckon people?! I think she needs some encouragement to spill the beans!

And I welcome any other guest bloggers wanting to share their stories.

Except for you PJ, we don't need to hear the story about the ice-cream bucket as a helmet...

Monday, September 6, 2010


Okay, an update on the issues outlined in my previous blog...

I didn't mouth off at any police officers last Saturday night. However, while waiting 20 minutes for a bus in the Valley I surreptitiously took photos of gross men going into Scores Gentleman's Club on my phone and then messaged them to friends.

Despite strong protests I somehow found myself back at the Caxton Hotel on Friday night after the Broncos' last home game. As we were walking in I ran into a guy that I had been calling "Sally" the last time I was there. Ashamed that I actually knew people at the Caxton, I again vowed never to go back. PS I would also like to apologise to the guy called Moses for all of my hilarious and inappropriate jokes about Egypt, reed baskets, plague, exodus and the Philistines.

I got my job! Toot toot! This means that I can continue to afford my mortgage and will not need to move to London from the embarrassment of rejection.

Coming soon - a pictorial summary of the awesomeness of RiverFire last Saturday!