Funny photos

Out for drinks in West End recently, Alissa and I came across this guy. I think he looks like Gary Busey in 20 years time if he was sober and living with his mother.

Funny photo

I have just worked out how to email photos from my phone, so now can furnish this sad and neglected blog with funny pictures instead of my lacklustre musings!

Favourite things: Yoga Hypnosis Musings

My darling friend Sarah is an extremely funny person. Combine her bubbly outgoing personality with a intense course in yoga and she is extremely funny to the power of three!

She has started a blog called Yoga Hypnosis Musings to document this hilarious adventure. As she describes it...

My blog might inspire you to try yoga or run screaming in the other direction. Is a it journey? Is it an illness? Is it an addiction? Is it the answer to stress release and happiness? Read on and you decide. This insiders look into yoga from a beginners viewpoint is honest, funny and heartwarming. See? Almost reads like a rom-com.

I hate rom-coms but I love Sarah, so read her blog!

http://www.yogishypnosismusings.blogspot.com/

Bulletin Board round up!

Okay, time for some more hilarious/sad (delete as appropriate) announcements from the work bulletin board!


Broken plates
I have a cpuple of bags of broken china/crockery from a house move. Would suit a mosaic artist.

Wouldn’t it be easier for everyone if you just threw them in the bin?



Wanted - Washing Machine
Just about out of clean clothes! Preferably Fisher and Paykel and 7kg+. Will pay a reasonable price.

Ugh, no need to air your dirty laundry on the corporate intranet



Kiwi Cushions
Beautiful large Cushion covers made from 100% wool with coloured felt N.Z. icons sewn on. eg: Pukeko, Frond, White Heron and Tuatara. Approx. 40 x 42mm. $45.00 ea

For the proud Kiwi with no taste!



TWILIGHT THROW RUG
TWILIGHT MOVIE THROW RUG FOR SALE, BRAND NEW, HAS NOT BEEN USED. $20.00

This item was listed on 2 December and then again on 3 December. I can understand why he was so keen to get rid of it. And I think his use of capslock was a cry for help.



Boarder Wanted - Marsden
To share a 3 bedroom house in Marsden. Must be working full time. Smokers ok, as long as you're happy to smoke outside. The house is situated on a big fully fenced 760m2 block, at the end of a cul-de-sac in a quiet street. It has 2 large living areas. You will have your own large bedroom and undercover car parking. You MUST be an animal lover as there are 2 dogs, a parrot, a snake and a lizard at the premises. It's ok, the snake and lizard are in tanks. All of this for only $150 per week (plus elec/gas/water). Bargain!

Wow, $150 to live waaaaaaaay out in the ‘burbs with 2 dogs, a parrot, a snake and a lizard, what a bargain!



WII Game: Mario & Sonic at the Olympic
Brand new, never opened. Cost $59 Sell $40. Unwanted Gift.

Thankless tight arse.



FREE Round Trampoline FREE FREE FREE
FREE Round trampoline 10 foot. Side netting and padding in poor condition and can be removed or replaced. Tramp mat and everything else is good. Free to person who picks up from Pine Mountain near Ipswich before 2 January 2010. Can help with disassembly. FREE FREE FREE.

Excuse me, how much is this trampoline? And how many children have died on it?



ITEMS 4 SALE (U TELL ME WOT UR AFTER)!!!
I have a stack of new &/or near new items that i want to get rid of...so tell me what you're after & i'll see if i've got it!!! :)

I’m after some quality English literature, but I have a feeling you probably don’t have any…



Bobcat for sale - Ideal Christmas Present
For someone who has everything. Case 85XT - $19,950. This beast can dig holes and load dirt like you wouldn't believe. And when you sit behind the controls and feel the rumble of the engine ... it's like nothing can stop you. Photos available - just email me. Happy digging.

Awesome!



Books for sale
$5 each, 3 for $10 or if you would like the whole lot (21), $70
Stephanie Myers: Twighlight, Eclipse, New Moon
Sophie Kinsella: Shopoholic & baby, Shopoholic takes Manhattan, Secret Dreamworld of a shopoholic
Jane green: The love Verb, Second Chance, The beach House
Martina Cole – Faceless, Marion Keyes - This charming man, Mitch Albon - The five people you meet in Heaven, Robbie Williams – Feel, Cecilia Ahern - Ps I love you, Kathy Reichs - Death Du Jour, Rebecca Miller - The private lives of pippa lee, Helen Fielding - Bridget Jones Diary, Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Noble - The way we were

This reminds me of a joke…

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys a half loaf of bread, one litre of milk, five frozen dinners, and a tub of chocolate icecream. The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single are you?" The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're ugly."

Mathematical thientitht (scientist)

Jim Bob just sent me the following email, which is so brilliant I have to share...


For every drunk action there's an equal but opposite reaction. The negative effect of two subsequent nights of partying is exponential, reflected in the formula

A= (D/H x N)^n

where D is the number of drinks consumed, H represents the number of hours in which the drinks were consumed, N is the number of nights partying and A is Amanda.

Ha ha ha @ hipsters

Yet again, news.com.au serves up the laughs!


The hipster has no clothes

Just when you think mainstream culture couldn’t get any shallower along comes the hipster.

No, I don’t mean the hipster sub-culture that beat writers like Jack Kerouac identified with in the 50s or low riding jeans most of us shouldn’t wear, I’m talking about the new breed of inner city trendy taking over small bars, laneways and cafe\bookstores everywhere.

Somehow draping yourself in ridiculous clothes and capering around while being deliberately ironic has become highly desirable for thousands of twenty and thirty somethings.

For those of you who are asking, ‘just what is a hipster?’ think fashionista culture meets indie street sensibilities, add a dash of metro-sexual leftovers then a sprinkling of first year arts degree intellectualism and you have the hipster.

Imagine you walk into an inner city café, there’s a tattered ottoman and some milk crates scattered loosely around a few rickety tables, a plastic palm tree glued upside down to the roof in one corner and indie music even triple J rejected bleating facetiously in the background.

The female barista is wearing sleeveless mechanic’s overalls with the name “Jerry” stitched on, and the several waiters with asymmetrical bangs down one side of their otherwise shaved heads cast derisive glances at you through thick rimmed glasses. Welcome to Hipsterville.

I may have spoken too soon

Dirty Delhi, you make me laugh!

THOUSANDS of used condoms blocked the drains at the Delhi Commonwealth Games village after they were flushed down toilets by amorous athletes, local media reported today.

A report in the Indian newspaper Mail Today claimed a condom vending machine containing around 4000 contraceptive packs had been installed at the village, but the precautionary measure was now causing problems with the plumbing.

Games chief Mike Fennell said yesterday he was just happy to see that so many of the 7000 competitors at the athletes’ village were being careful.

"This shows that athletes are being responsible and are promoting safe sex," he said.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/used-condoms-block-drains-at-delhi-commonwealth-games-report/story-e6frfku0-1225935830563#ixzz11jdTTVRc

Oh how I laughed

This is seriously one of the funniest news stories I have read about the Commonwealth Games!

Funnier than large monkeys being brought in to chase away smaller monkeys, funnier than the Brits getting the sh!ts in the pool, funnier than Channel 10 deciding to send their television commentators to the 39 degrees celsius temperatures of Delhi in pale blue shirts that show even the slightest hint of perspiration.


It’s not a V for victory

WE CAME, we saw, and when we didn't conquer we flipped them the bird.

The Ugly Australian loser has descended on Delhi and for once they were not wearing cricket whites.

Indians have come to expect rudeness from our cricketers. What wasn't expected was a display of petulance from our Commonwealth Games athletes as they embark on what many believe is little more than a public relations exercise.

As the relevance of the Commonwealth Games was being questioned in past weeks, Australia's Games honcho Perry Crosswhite went so far as to call them Australia's gift to the weaker nations of the region.

A chance for us to not so much flex our ample sporting muscles as to give others less fortunate the chance to play alongside us and learn.

One thing they have learned in recent days is how to raise two fingers of the hand and wave it in the general vicinity of the judging panel. Refusing to shake hands with the victorious opponent is an optional extra.

When wrestler Hassene Fkiri went for the daily double after losing his gold medal bout on Tuesday, Australian officials acted quickly and decisively.

After debating long into the night, Crosswhite and chef de mission Steve Moneghetti chose not to send him home on the first available flying kangaroo, but to lumber him with a raft of punishments including personal apologies all round.

His actions, said Moneghetti, had been an embarrassment to himself, his family, his country and the Australian team.

We are a country that plays hard and fair, said Moneghetti, but we always accept the judge's decision. Fkiri would be made an example of.

Obviously cyclist Shane Perkins didn't get the memo.

When the judges sent him back to the end of the queue after ruling he had caused an accident in the keirin, he raised two fingers and said "Fkiri you" not once, but twice.

As Moneghetti said, hard, fair and cop it sweet.

A little late jumping on the bandwagon

This story from popbitch makes me want to join Twitter...

Crazy Little Party Boy - Poor Aaron Carter's lost it

Since the passing of his dear friend Michael Jackson (who once bought him a Bentley), Aaron Carter seems to have gone into meltdown and is now determined to rid the world of disease and suffering.

He tweets:

2:46pm - THE FIRST THING I WANT TO DO IS HELP FIND A CURE FOR AIDS!

2.47pm - I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE SEARCHING FOR ANSWER'S FOR MANY DIFFERENT REASON'S,THERE IS A LUPUS WALK IN NEW YORK THAT I WILL START WITH

2.50pm - I HEARD ONE OF THE JONAS BROTHER'S HAS DIABETES AND ONE OF THEM WENT TO THE GOVERMENT TO VOICE HIS OPINION... NOW THAT'S WHAT I MEAN! :)

3.06pm - STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! I WRITE IN CAPS FOR A SPECIFIC AUTISTIC PERSON! LEAVE IT ALONE! I WILL NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE

AIDS, lupus, diabetes and autism. All in 20 minutes.


"There's something that I've got to say, you're always with me even though you're far away"
Aaron Carter, I'm All About You