An open letter

Dear work colleague,

Please do not tell me that I look tired.

I had a long day yesterday, I was up at 5am this morning, I haven't had coffee yet, I know how effing tired I am.

So you telling me that my eyes are puffy does not help the situation at all.

In fact it makes it worse, because I thought my liberally applied concealer had masked it a little.

Your pointless comment was a kick in the guts, so thank you.

Now shut the hell up.

Yawns sincerly,
Mumbles

Bulletin of the week

Avent breast pumpI have for sale an Avent 'Isis' manual breast pump. Only used a couple of times (and sterilised after each use). Purchased for $90 and selling for $40. I still have the original packaging with the instructions and unopened spare parts for the pump.

Would you believe that there is someone else at my work trying to flog a second hand breast pump?

I used to be entertained by the shit that people tried to sell on the Bulletin Board at work, now I just find it disturbing that there are so many tight arses.

And just to let you know, the woman with the hair extensions is still placing weekly ads to try and offload the horse hair.

Wanky Plates #7

Okay, this guy is a double douchebag.

Firstly because he has a wanky plate that I assume is making a joke about playing tag or some similarly childish game.

And secondly because it should be "you're", as in "you are".

Knob.

Wanky Plates #6

Poop jokes are always funny. Turns out that poop wanky plates are too!

Mathematical thientitht (scientist)

Jim Bob just sent me the following email, which is so brilliant I have to share...


For every drunk action there's an equal but opposite reaction. The negative effect of two subsequent nights of partying is exponential, reflected in the formula

A= (D/H x N)^n

where D is the number of drinks consumed, H represents the number of hours in which the drinks were consumed, N is the number of nights partying and A is Amanda.