Friday, June 27, 2008

Good and bad

Things I like:
Pimms o'clock
First dates
Ribena poppers
Marks & Spencer
San Pellegrino
Eyelash curlers
Peppermint tea before bed

Things I don’t like:
Revolving doors
Stupid people
Dogs on trains
Christmas carols
Inconsistant document formatting
Olympia trains at Earls Court
Walking down stairs
People who complain about speed cameras
Other people's feet
Midweek hangovers
Losing trivia
Tepid drinks

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Working 9-5

I absolutely LOVE my new job! It is interesting, challenging, involved, and busy. My title is Events & Marketing Manager (everyone in London is a “manager”) and I run large events, review grant funding applications, write newsletters, and have a surprising amount of responsibility. I’ve warned my manager not to tell me the name of the girl that I am filling in for, as I would probably hunt her down and buy her off.

Some interesting/funny things about my job…

The office is very open plan. I can see you picking your nose from five rows back. And the person sitting behind me can see this blog, Hi Hannah!

It is all about sustainability. People look at you like you are the devil’s spawn if they think you are unnecessarily printing a document. And that had better be fair trade, locally produced, seasonal catering for that event you know.

My manager will sometimes take off his shoes and sit cross legged on his chair. Whilst in a meeting. He's cool!

Speaking of meetings, let’s organise a meeting to discuss the issue that could be resolved with quick chat at your desk. Actually, let’s have a meeting so we can organise a meeting. Yeah.

I just went to the bathroom and found a pregnancy test kit on the floor. Uh oh, someone’s been makin babies!

Government takes security very seriously. I have a swipe card to get in and out of the building – okay, I can understand that. But do I really need a swipe card to go to the toilet? When we move to our new office at Canary Wharf they have to x-ray my handbag! What are they going to think when they see the 63 hair clips, the spare pair of underwear, the Frisbee, and the mobile phone charger?

An open letter

Dear Mum, Jackie and Natalii (the only people who read this thing),

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. All I seem to write about is the tube and trivia.

I promise to go adventuring and/or drinking this weekend so that I have something interesting to write about next week.

Love ya hard,

Tube stories

The past couple of weeks have been quiet, hence the lack of blog material. Though in the past fortnight I have collected enough silly tube stories for a post.

Most people, myself included, would find it very hard to believe that I catch public transport. Once dubbed Evie, the environmental vandal, I have since changed my ways. A change that was forced upon me, but that I have rather quickly adapted to.

Over the past two weeks, these funny things have happened while I was on the tube…

On a rather packed Picadilly line train to Covent Garden one Saturday night I saw a young woman dressed ready for a night on the town. Except she was carrying a car spoiler.

On a District line train home one afternoon I offered my seat up to a (rather hot) young man on crutches, only to have him declare that he was fine and refuse my hospitality. “You are on crutches!” I argued. Me thinks the crutches were a sneaky ploy to summon sympathy and attract young women. Can’t believe I fell for that old trick.

On a District line train to visit the Barley Mow gang in Shoreditch one night a rather large, hairy, tattooed and inebriated young man commented “nice hair!” to Amber as we alighted the train. See, I told you it was a good haircut woman!

On a District line train home from Putney Bridge last Saturday night, I just made it onto a carriage as the train was about to pull away. Yay, I thought. Until the train was held between stations and I realised that there was a homeless man with two dirty dogs. BoJo (Boris Johnson, Mayor of London) has recently banned alcohol on public transport; maybe he needs to think about banning stinkin mutts as well.

On the District line train pretty much every morning there is a different couple sucking face in my carriage. The jolting train ride is enough to unsettle one’s stomach, so your smooching noises really make me feel nauseas. And it’s not just because I am single that this offends me, I don’t think any of the middle-age suits are too impressed by your display.

At Westminster Station one Monday morning I found the “Tube Character of the Week”. A 70 year old man that looked like Albert Einstein dressed in a three-piece pinstripe suit, carrying a brief case and umbrella, and wearing a bowler hat. Brilliant!

On a Circle line train one afternoon a man dressed as a pirate was going around collecting money to feed the homeless. I gave him £2 and said “that’s just for your hat, love it!”

Thursday, June 5, 2008

To paraphrase Paul Keating...

It was the loss Facthunt needed to have.

For the first time in history (not to be over dramatic or anything), Facthunt lost the King's Arms trivia competition last night. It was a draw between us and another team, so "Quizmaster Liam" decided to have an utterly confusing and unprofessional tie breaker. We were beaten by a smidge.

But it was a good thing, as the hype was getting a bit too much to live up to. And at the end of the day, you know, trivia is the real winner.

Though I place the blame on Hugh Grant, who walked past the pub halfway through the second round and distracted us. True story!

Monday, June 2, 2008