Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Tell him he's dreamin

There is an online bulletin board at work, where staff can sell things. And by "things" I mean mainly over-priced second-hand crap.

How about some boxing gloves, that are slightly splitting at seams (I appreciate his honesty) for $25?

Or an ironing board, in good condition, for $30? Seroiusly, how much is a new one? And what sort of cost do you put on the inconvenience and embarrassment of doing the transaction in the workplace?

Or the guy selling comedy club tickets that he admits were a gift, but is still trying to sell them at full cost price!

Or the woman selling 11 nappies for $5? Honestly, why bother?

Or the douchebag selling personalised plates (you know how I feel about them) for a Nissan 350Z - NSN 350? Do you think he would sell them to me knowing I was going to put them on my Mitsubishi Mirage?

Or the person trying to offload a used Nokia mobile phone for $400? Only if you leave all of the text messages where you fight with your boyfriend on it.

Do you need an electric fence energiser? 260 back copies of Ships Monthly magazine from 1987-2009? Some slightly scratched kids sunglasses? Fake Chloe Paddington handbag? Authentic signed Brisbane Broncos 1997 Super League jersey? Clarinet?

There is also a lot of second-hand, hardly used, perfect condition exercise equipment. He he he, fatties!

I think my favourite was the man selling a Club Lock steering wheel lock: "I have had this many years, hardly ever used in the last 15-20 so it's like new (been sitting in cupboard). You can own for $30."

Tight arse hoarder...

Monday, February 22, 2010

Hello, welcome back, hi

So, quick update on things – I’ve got a job with another Government Agency (henceforth referred to as Brisbane Government Agency), I have moved back into my apartment in Brisbane , and I’ve lost 8kg since leaving London .

Okay, now we’re all on the same page.

So over to some random thoughts...

There is a girl at work that is absolutely lovely, but wears her sunglasses as a headband all day long. Is that appropriate for the office?

For the last time people, tights are not pants

I catch the bus to work. I used to eschew public transport in Brisbane, laughing at people on buses, and frequently abusing those blerrie bus drivers that just pull out in front of you. Now I am the unofficial spokesperson for “Buses are cool”. Email me if you want a slogan badge.

I met a guy the other day who pronounced the word tooth as “toof”. I thought it was only the British who spoke like that.

Is it okay to wear leopard print flats to the office? On the fourth day of working there?

I keep forgetting to stand to the left on escalators, to the point where I am annoying myself

Forget Chicago, Brisbane is the windy city - a fact that the man walking behind me today when my skirt whipped up will attest to

My name is Mumble Pants and I have an addiction to soda water

More regular posts will follow, I promise. Including a new weekly special - wanky personalised plates!