Update

Okay, an update on the issues outlined in my previous blog...

I didn't mouth off at any police officers last Saturday night. However, while waiting 20 minutes for a bus in the Valley I surreptitiously took photos of gross men going into Scores Gentleman's Club on my phone and then messaged them to friends.

Despite strong protests I somehow found myself back at the Caxton Hotel on Friday night after the Broncos' last home game. As we were walking in I ran into a guy that I had been calling "Sally" the last time I was there. Ashamed that I actually knew people at the Caxton, I again vowed never to go back. PS I would also like to apologise to the guy called Moses for all of my hilarious and inappropriate jokes about Egypt, reed baskets, plague, exodus and the Philistines.

I got my job! Toot toot! This means that I can continue to afford my mortgage and will not need to move to London from the embarrassment of rejection.

Coming soon - a pictorial summary of the awesomeness of RiverFire last Saturday!

Bor-ring

I am rather uninspired with this blog lately. I feel like there is nothing interesting to share with my dedicated reader (hi PJ!) and people who stumble into here looking for Rayban Wayfarers or photos of girls in tight shorts.

I've been busy, but none of it seems worthy of a stand alone post.

There is the story of my foot-in-mouth incident on the weekend, when I berated a driver for running a red light as Nathan and I crossed the street, only to find out it was an unmarked police car.

Or the story of my great happiness when told it would cost $550 rather than the originally quoted $800 to fix Rusty's steering head bearings, front fork seals, rear fork seals, rear break shoes, cushion drive rubbers or somethingorother, front brake switch, and grips. That is to say, to make him roadworthy. But it was definitely worth it as he rides like a freakin dream now!

Or the story of when Nicole and I went to the Caxton Hotel for "one drink" after the Broncos game the other weekend, where I insisted on calling every boy I spoke to by a girl's name, had to defend Nicole when someone started throwing ice at her head, slipped down the stairs but somehow regained my composure by the bottom step and looked up expecting applause but no-one saw it, and maintained my near perfect record of unintentionally getting home within 15 minutes of my housemate when we've both been out for the night.

Or the story of how I had to apply for the job that I have been doing for the past five months, and how if I don't get it I will absolutely die of embarrassment and have to leave the country from the shame of the rejection.

Hmmmmm, maybe I'll find something to blog about next week...

Slack-slack-slacker

Okay, so I just realised that my last three posts have all been bulletin of the week. Time to pull my finger out.

I bought a motorbike! It's a black 1991 Suzuki GN250 and he's name is Rusty and I love him. He's not the prettiest thing, with his flaking paintwork and corrosion on the exhaust pipe and his cranky gearbox, but he's mine! We've been for a few rides around Brisbane the past couple of weekends, and I'm looking forward to some longer rides this weekend.

I got older! I had my birthday earlier this week. You don't need to know exactly how old I am, only that I am still in my mid-20's. And will be for many years to come.

I got tickets to Splendour! And then freaked out when the reality of camping hit home. Fortunately, Tom has said that I can sleep in his station wagon as he finds it too claustrophobic, and Matty has a portable hot shower. Everyone needs keep their phones on them that weekend in case I call up, crying, needing to be rescued.

I started full time in my new job! I don't know why I used an exclamation mark there, except for consistency. It's interesting work, but it is very busy. Hence the lack of blog entries.

And speaking of which, back to it now...

I lied

Okay, so I am a crap blogger.

But I don't have much to say. Or, actually, I don't have much interesting to say. Funemployment is keeping me busy as I fill my days with the beach, boring administration stuffs like claiming insurance and doing my tax, having lunches and dinners with friends, being cheerleader for Nathan's netball team on a Wednesday night, inviting myself over to play with my nephews, talking to my sister on the phone (the novelty of being able to call whenever we want hasn't worn off yet), and job hunting.

Do you know what I need to do? Get a job or get drunk. Leave it with me, I'll work on it.

In the meantime, let's pretend this is a weight loss blog for one minute so I can gloat about how I have lost 5kg since I got back - toot toot! A big part of it is mum waking my up early each morning for what I have dubbed "Fat Farm" (aka beach walks and swims), part of it is the heat allowing me to sweat it out, and the biggest part of it is the reduction of alcohol consumed.

So I guess that answers my earlier rhetorical question about what I need to do - get a job so that I can cryptically talk about my colleagues behind their backs in this open forum!

Update

Okay, so I have been a little slack with my blog lately. I've been doing stuff, it's just I don't think it's that interesting to read about.

The other weekend I went to Cardiff with Alli, Kat, Kasia, Karina and Beavis. There isn't much to see or do in Cardiff to be honest, so we went to the Australian-themed bar and cut up a rug. Honestly, we owned that joint. Apart from that, we walked around the city and bought some souveniers to prove that we were actually there.

The UK is currently in the midst of swine flu fever, and I have been doing a lot of work on this. As Internal Communications Manager at The Government Agency, I am privy to the inside information. My manager has come to my desk several times and asked to see me in private on several occasions, leading me to think that I was in trouble, however it is just so I can get the low down on what's happening. I am not as important as Bec though. She is sitting on the crisis response team at The Local Borough Council, which allocates her the prestigious 'category 2' rank for when/if the UK decided to carry out nation-wide vaccinations, putting her just after emergency service front line staff who are category 1.

Also at work, I had my annual performance appraisal with my manager. He is extremely pleased with the work that I have been doing, so it looks like my job is pretty secure.

I continued with my lucky streak, winning tickets to a play through the London Paper . So far I have won music festival tickets, a trip to Copenhagen, and some lettuce seeds. London Paper, you rock! Dom and I went to see the play on Friday, which was actually pretty good. Much better than the opera that Dom had convinced me that we were going to see. We had a few drinks in Fulham afterwards, though quickly sobered up when we saw a fight in the middle of the street. Some kid smashed another with a bottle, and I saw him fall with a thud to the pavement, his head falling heavy on the cement. Everyone was running around screaming but no one thought to check the guy on the floor. I went over to see if he was okay, but was pushed aside by a heroine screaming "get him in the recovery position!", so I left them to it. Dom and I hailed the first cab we saw and hot footed it out of there. I have never seen such a fight. Honestly, I cannot understand it.

I am having drinks this Saturday to celebrate the second anniversary of my 25th birthday. I don't like not being with my family for birthdays, however I LOVE the Dora the Explorer package of birthday presents that I received from home today. I promise not to open it until my birthday mum!

The highlight of the month would have to be Croatia! On Saturday 16 May we head to Split for a week cruising around glorious Croatia. I. Can. Not. Wait!

And that's it really. A boring, jokeless update. Sorry guys, I promise something more interesting next time.

D-amanda

I have to admit that I am starting to miss my life back home.

I want to go to family dinners every second Monday night. They used to be the highlight of my week.

I want to take more weekend trips up to Townsville to visit Jackie, Mark, James, Ben and Darcy. And I want to get James drunk.

I want to take Isaac and Joe out once a month for an adventurous outing, to somewhere like the Science Museum, you know, things that I really want to do.

I want to get Broncos season tickets for me and dad.

I want to have a girly day with mum, where we get our pedicures and I go shopping with her and try not to complain.

I want regular Wednesday night dates with Jaala.

I want to have a blow up mattress at Nathan’s new apartment so that I can stay there whenever I feel like it.

I want to go to mini golf at Victoria Park with Scoot Scoot, and make stupid jokes that only he and I laugh at. Or say the same joke at the same time that only he and I laugh at.

I want to play Game of Life with Matt and Lindy and whinge if I don’t get to be the Rockstar.

I want to go back to my regular pilates class, where all the middle aged people kicked my butt.

I want to lose the extra five kilos that I only seem to have in London. I lost a lot of it in the four weeks when I was home at Christmas – I’m naturally skinnier in Australia.

I want to ride my awesome bike, Tequila Sunrise.

I want to have the natural tanned glowing skin that I have in my drivers licence photo.

I want to wear high heels again.

I want to be able to drive a car, and listen to the radio, especially Triple J and Triple M.

I want a permanent job, where I get paid for sick days, public holidays, and annual leave.

I want to go grocery shopping wherever I want, rather than the supermarket that is closest because I have to walk home with my groceries.

I want to see more of Australia.

I want to be there for birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, school fetes, and new babies.

I want to come home at Christmas…


“I want today, I want tomorrow, I want to wear 'em, Like braids in my hair and I don't want to share 'em. Don’t care how, I want it now”
I Want it Now, Veruca Salt

Office beverage etiquette

British office etiquette requires you to ask your immediate colleagues if they would like a tea or coffee every time you head in the general direction of the kitchen. This annoys me.

Firstly, I have made five consecutive cups of tea for one of my colleagues, without even a hint of her getting off her butt to fetch her own. I think that she could be on the verge of unconsciousness due to dehydration and lack of caffeine, and she would still wait for me to go to the kitchen.

Secondly, I went to refill my glass of water just then and she asked me to make her a cup of tea. Sorry sweetie, but uh-uh, I draw the line there. I offered water, not tea. That’s like me offering you a tissue and you asking for one of my kidneys. Actually it is nothing like that, but all this tea drinking has got to be doing something to her kidneys, so she will probably want one of mine soon.

Thirdly, everyone likes their tea or coffee a certain way. I don’t really like requesting my “strong tea with one sugar and a dash of milk”. However, aforementioned colleague has no qualms in dictating her preferences to me: “a tea please, ooh and not too weak, no sugar thanks, just a teaspoon of milk – not too much, and if you could fill the mug to the top, that would be great thanks”.

From now on I am bringing a flask of java to the office with me; no more hot beverage runs people!


"One more cup of coffee for the road, one more cup of coffee 'fore I go"
One More Cup of Coffee, White Stripes

Leaving home and arriving home

I fell off the blog train while I was home over Christmas and in the personal company of my readers, so now that I am back in the United States of England I promise that there will be more regular updates.

It was extremely difficult leaving this time, even more so than when I first left in April. I cried countless times in my last five days at home, and was even crying more than my mum when I said goodbye at the airport. However that came in handy when I was not just overweight but morbidly obese with regards to hand luggage. The lady felt sorry for me and my red face and puffy eyes and let me go. He he he! Just a warning - if I end a phone call with a squeaky “good bye” it’s because I am being a sooky la la and am crying again, so just ignore it.

London did it’s best to ease my transition back. Thursday wasn’t too cold and I didn’t have to wait too long for the bus ride, which took me on the scenic route from Chelsea to Waterloo via Sloane Square with the pretty fairy lights in the bare-branch trees and the towering Westminster Abbey. Then, after being at my desk for 10 minutes my manager offered to extend my contract – an extremely fantastic thing given the doom and gloom of the credit crunch. The upside of the CC is that everywhere is having sales at the moment, with lots of restaurants offering 2-for-1 meals and Ryan Air massively discounting flights. Colleagues stopped by my desk throughout the day to say hello, and my personal email inbox was full with silly banter from my London friends. All of this reminded me why I moved to London, so I’ve decided to harden the fuck up and enjoy it! (Apologies for the swearing mum)

Though I am totally ignoring my father's parting advice that the girl with the most handbags doesn't always win, because she does dad, she does!

I promise more adventures and blog posts soon…


"Wish I was taking you with me, no more goodbyes, no more goodbyes, tell me to stay home"
Leaving the City, Roisin Murphy

I’m all writed out

Someone at work started a vicious rumour that I have excellent copywriting skills. This someone being Keef, my previous manager. This rumour resulting in my new position in internal communications.

In a mere six days in the job I’ve done a communications strategy, a memo, the foreword from the CEO for a strategic consultation document, an executive summary brochure for the same, a couple of all staff emails, a PowerPoint presentation, and a novel-length email to Jaala.

I don’t have enough words in me to also write a proper blog entry. Give me a week or so, okay?

Luck is a vulgar thing

Except when it results in an extended employment contract, with a month off over Christmas, and a pay rise of £150 a week.

A couple of months ago my department moved offices to Canary Wharf. However, last Monday I was back at the old office as I had a meeting nearby. And while I was there the manager of the communications team – we’ll call her Lorraine – came past the bank of desks where I was sitting and asked my colleagues: “So who are Amanda and Josie?” I piped up and introduced myself, although we had met several times before. We had a little chat, a laugh, and she left saying it was good to know who I was.

Three days later my line manager (Keef) pulled me aside and said that Lorraine wanted to offer me a job with the internal communications team.

I know that this offer would have been based on the work that I have done at The Government Agency, and the glowing reference that I am sure Keef gave me.

But part of me wonders if the job was offered to me instead of Josie because I just happened to be there that day and Lorraine could put a face to the name?

Gainful employment

Want to know what I do at work? My colleague wrote a little story about it.

So how about a warm round of applause for our guest blogger, Josie!

Once upon a time there were two fantastic Aussie girls named Josie and Amanda who worked at The Government Agency. Josie, who doesn't like many people, thought Amanda was ok and they became friends. Amanda, who is in love with Alphabeat, thought Josie was the coolest person in the world and she followed her everywhere she went. This didn't bother Josie as Amanda walked faster than her so she was able to lose her on a number of occasions.

The girls did everything together. Laughed together, got lunch together, had hot chocolate, a latte with a shot of vanilla and panetone together, and they even did their time sheets together. So much fun to be had.

Josie and Amanda were managed by the big, bad, monster named Keef. Keef was nasty and made Josie and Amanda work. He gave them boring projects to work on like The Volunteering Program and The Website. Josie and Amanda couldn't take it anymore so they sent Keef to Spain and they all lived happily ever after.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up!

To paraphrase Sally Fields...

They like me, they really like me!

Dear Amanda's recruitment agency

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. As discussed previously Amanda is doing an excellent job and although the permanent member of staff starts next week I have asked her to stay on to manage a couple of specific projects. Initially this extension is until the end of September. However; depending on the level of response to one project this may be extended until the end of November. Hope this makes sense. Obviously drop me a line if you need anything else.

Regards
Amanda's manager

Working 9-5

I absolutely LOVE my new job! It is interesting, challenging, involved, and busy. My title is Events & Marketing Manager (everyone in London is a “manager”) and I run large events, review grant funding applications, write newsletters, and have a surprising amount of responsibility. I’ve warned my manager not to tell me the name of the girl that I am filling in for, as I would probably hunt her down and buy her off.

Some interesting/funny things about my job…

The office is very open plan. I can see you picking your nose from five rows back. And the person sitting behind me can see this blog, Hi Hannah!

It is all about sustainability. People look at you like you are the devil’s spawn if they think you are unnecessarily printing a document. And that had better be fair trade, locally produced, seasonal catering for that event you know.

My manager will sometimes take off his shoes and sit cross legged on his chair. Whilst in a meeting. He's cool!

Speaking of meetings, let’s organise a meeting to discuss the issue that could be resolved with quick chat at your desk. Actually, let’s have a meeting so we can organise a meeting. Yeah.

I just went to the bathroom and found a pregnancy test kit on the floor. Uh oh, someone’s been makin babies!

Government takes security very seriously. I have a swipe card to get in and out of the building – okay, I can understand that. But do I really need a swipe card to go to the toilet? When we move to our new office at Canary Wharf they have to x-ray my handbag! What are they going to think when they see the 63 hair clips, the spare pair of underwear, the Frisbee, and the mobile phone charger?

Snaps!

Snaps to Facthunt, for our SIXTH consecutive trivia win!

Snaps to Tesco Direct, for delivering my new mattress! Sayonara crappy old mattress with the springs that nearly dislocated my shoulder, oh, you shall not be missed.

Snaps to the Barley Mow, our new favourite (non local) pub! It was well worth the three-tube hour-long trip to Shoreditch just to enjoy the generous hospitality of Eddie, Laura and Greg. Magners for £2, unlimited credits on the jukebox, free run of the place after 11pm, hilarious foreign accents, and ridiculous card tricks – you know I’ll be going back.

Snaps to me for getting a new job! A 10-week contract with a great company and the title of ‘Marketing & Events Executive’. Best part is that I don’t have to do another Birmingham conference with my current job. I am fabulous in London, Birmingham not so much.

Snaps to Marks & Spencer! I will never tire of their chicken laksa noodle salad. I’ve had it at least a dozen times since I’ve been here, and it just keeps getting better. M&S, you don’t put a foot wrong.

Snaps to The People’s Post Office! You may make me wait half an hour in the queue, but it only cost me £6.45 to send a large package to Australia.

Snaps to Mark and Matt for giving us a Wii console! The dance mat is super fun, even if Amber is mega competitive and won’t tell me how to use the hand controls so she can be the best at ‘Rhythm is a Dancer’.

It’s all good

Things are going great guns at the moment!

Firstly, Facthunt won trivia for the third time last night! Alex joined Amber, Juliet and I for our least convincing and least profitable win yet. However, we are starting to get a bit of a name for ourselves at the Kings Arms, so the manager gave us a free bottle of Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc (AU$50) when we got the hat trick.

Secondly, I received the best compliment from a girl at the pub: “I love your fringe, it looks sexy hot”. Ha ha ha!

And finally, I got a job! Although it is only a short-term contract position, it is a good organisation, interesting role, great money, and they want me to start straight away.

So yay for me!