Shit and apathy

I admit it - I'm a shit blogger. And I am rather apathetic about my shitness, hence this post will just be a lazy copy and paste of a funny email conversation I had with my sister (hi Jackie!) recently.

Jackie: I had to laugh when I read that the oat krunch bikkies were 'deliciously fun'……then I remembered that in Cambodia it's probably fun to eat anything at all. My thought for the month….Nothing healthy comes in a crinkly packet

Moi: Ha ha ha! My thought for the month... Who the heck orders rounds of tequila shots at 9pm on a school night? Despite having the best intentions of being home from Melbourne Cup festivities by 5pm, I stumbled in at 10pm last night. Ugh. xAm

I assume that it was a good day / night though? Any photos (that you are able to share and won't get me in trouble with the work blockout scanners...shit, bum, boobs - let's see if they let that through! Avon however is blocked.)?

No photos - fortunately! Hang on.... nup, just checked the bar's website and they don't have any photos on there, so I am in the clear :) I did manage to embarrass myself by striking up a conversation with this old guy and mocking the bar manager who was dressed unintentionally like a clown, only to find out the old guy was the owner of the bar. He then introduced me to his politician friend, who I jokingly accused of representing the fishing party. On the subject of fishing, I said I hated seafood only to find out the old guy also owns the massive seafood market. Yeah, I'm awesome when I'm drunk.

hahahaha, oh you crack me up. I don't know how you get yourself into these situations but you seem to do it regularly and with ease!

Song of the day: Friend of the Devil

Today's song of the day is The Grateful Dead's "Friend of the Devil".

According to Wikipedia... The music was written by Jerry Garcia and John Dawson and the lyrics are by Robert Hunter. "Friend of the Devil" is about an outlaw, on the run from the police. His crime is never explicitly stated. The Devil helps him escape, but winds up chasing him just as the law does; several lines of the song are ambiguous, and could refer to either law enforcement or servants of Satan, such as "I was trailed by twenty hounds", which could refer to either police dogs sniffing his trail, or mythical hellhounds.

Being young and impressionable, I grew up listening to the music that my brother and sister liked, and how vastly different their tastes were! Jackie liked Icehouse and Kylie, Michael liked The Grateful Dead, The Doors, and The Pogues. As a result, I have a rather ecclectic taste in music.

Set out runnin' but I take my time, a friend of the devil is a friend of mine, if I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight...

Update 2

While I have actually been getting out and doing stuff, there has been a lapse in blogging again. So I shall summarise the goings on of my life in bullet points, because I like bullet points and this is my blog and I can use them.

• I ventured back to the Walkabout at Temple to watch the first State of Origin game the other week, after managing to avoid any updates on the score throughout the day by getting a colleague to screen all of my text messages. Honestly though, you need to be drunk to be able to handle that place and as it was a Wednesday night I was not in a position to have a great time. Amber and Nicole did though!
  
  
• Jodie has returned from Australia but is yet to find employment, which leaves her free to hunt around on the internet for cheap theatre tickets – yay! We went to La Clique the other week and it was fantastic! The venue was really cosy and set up sort of like a circus, with strings of lights, and the stage in the middle. And the acts were great – a man who squeezed his body through a tennis racquet and made me laugh so hard I cried, a couple that did amazing spinning tricks on roller skates, a massive black man dressed in drag singing, a little guy dressed as Freddie Mercury that did juggling tricks and jokes, and crazy acts.
  
  
• This week we got £10 dress circle tickets to La Cage Aux Folles (aka the Birdcage) which was pretty good. The highlight were the five extremely fit, male chorus dancers, who were extremely entertaining from the stalls, but I don’t think I would have liked it as much if I was in the front row tables!
  
  
• Last weekend we did a day trip to Brighton which was really fun. The weather was unexpectedly gorgeous, and we all ended up getting a little sunburnt. We went down to the water, played games on the pier, went on our favourite ride – the Crazy Mouse, had fish for lunch (actually I had salad), did some shopping in the Lanes, and then whiled away the afternoon at the beachfront bar, le sigh…
  
  
• PowerPlate is either going to be my body-firming saviour, or the death of me. I’ve started doing PowerPlate classes at the gym, as I got a few sessions free with my membership. The idea is that you do exercises on a platform that vibrates, so a 30 minute session is equal to a 90 minute session on standard equipment. And at the end of it you feel like you’ve done a 90 minute session. The good thing is that the last couple of minutes you lie on the ground with your legs on the machine and get a muscle-stretching and cellulite-busting massage.
  
  
• I have been invited to the wedding of a colleague friend of mine in September, which is very exciting. When I asked what the dress code she was rather vague, though stipulated that most women would be wearing hats or headpieces. Crap. So the search starts now in the hope that I will find something appropriate in the next two and a half months.
  
  
• Just to fuel the fire that Jackie started at Christmas lunch, I bought a pair of Birkenstocks on the weekend. I had quite the internal fight prior to the purchase – extreme comfort and purple patent leather vs blatantly looking like a lesbian. Comfort won out. Though I won’t be wearing them with my new green skirt from Joy, as I saw an actual real life lesbian wearing the same skirt a few months ago.

PS. Mum, I am not a lesbian.

D-amanda

I have to admit that I am starting to miss my life back home.

I want to go to family dinners every second Monday night. They used to be the highlight of my week.

I want to take more weekend trips up to Townsville to visit Jackie, Mark, James, Ben and Darcy. And I want to get James drunk.

I want to take Isaac and Joe out once a month for an adventurous outing, to somewhere like the Science Museum, you know, things that I really want to do.

I want to get Broncos season tickets for me and dad.

I want to have a girly day with mum, where we get our pedicures and I go shopping with her and try not to complain.

I want regular Wednesday night dates with Jaala.

I want to have a blow up mattress at Nathan’s new apartment so that I can stay there whenever I feel like it.

I want to go to mini golf at Victoria Park with Scoot Scoot, and make stupid jokes that only he and I laugh at. Or say the same joke at the same time that only he and I laugh at.

I want to play Game of Life with Matt and Lindy and whinge if I don’t get to be the Rockstar.

I want to go back to my regular pilates class, where all the middle aged people kicked my butt.

I want to lose the extra five kilos that I only seem to have in London. I lost a lot of it in the four weeks when I was home at Christmas – I’m naturally skinnier in Australia.

I want to ride my awesome bike, Tequila Sunrise.

I want to have the natural tanned glowing skin that I have in my drivers licence photo.

I want to wear high heels again.

I want to be able to drive a car, and listen to the radio, especially Triple J and Triple M.

I want a permanent job, where I get paid for sick days, public holidays, and annual leave.

I want to go grocery shopping wherever I want, rather than the supermarket that is closest because I have to walk home with my groceries.

I want to see more of Australia.

I want to be there for birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, school fetes, and new babies.

I want to come home at Christmas…


“I want today, I want tomorrow, I want to wear 'em, Like braids in my hair and I don't want to share 'em. Don’t care how, I want it now”
I Want it Now, Veruca Salt

An open letter #2

Dear Jackie,

What, you are so busy with your part-time job, first aid training business, two toddlers and a teenager and a husband that you can’t wake up early on a Friday morning to Skype with me?

Love,
Moi

Kids say the darndest things

The things I miss most about home are my family and friends, though I try to email or call as often as I can.

I love getting emails from my nephews Isaac and Joseph. Natalii, my most darling sister-in-law, types what the boys say verbatim, which makes for some highly entertaining reading. Especially last night when I got two emails – one from Isaac and one from Joe.

Isaac’s email had a background of rainbows, which he said he sending to me to help keep me happy. It made me so happy I actually got a little teary.

Joe’s email had a pirate background, and he told me about how he had been playing UNO and had fire money. Nat, what on earth is fire money! Then he went on to tell me that he wanted ping pong balls for Christmas! I laughed so hard even more tears came out.

After this I called Jackie on Skype and had a little chat to Ben about what he would like for Christmas. In case anyone doesn’t know yet (though I don’t think there are many people that Ben hasn’t told) he would like a guitar. This is better than when mum asked what Ben would like her to bring him back from England and he asked for a wrench and a coconut!

Oh boys, you make me laugh!

An open letter

Dear Mum, Jackie and Natalii (the only people who read this thing),

Apologies for the lack of posts lately. All I seem to write about is the tube and trivia.

I promise to go adventuring and/or drinking this weekend so that I have something interesting to write about next week.

Love ya hard,
xAm