Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Who knew the Swedish were so much fun?

What a weekend!

After a couple of marmalade martinis with work colleagues after work on Friday, I trundled off home to finish packing for Stockholm and get an early night. Unsuccessfully. Thus began my long weekend of lots of fun and not lots of sleep.

Somehow I managed to get up and dressed in time for my 3am cab on Saturday morning. Yes people, at 3am I was leaving home, not getting home. I picked up Mark (aka Sparky) and Rebecca (aka Bec) and then we headed out to Stanstead.

Sparky had given me a heads up that Bec is the best person to travel with, as she is uber organised, and she didn’t disappoint. Bec had the airline booking number saved on her phone, her toiletries already packed in a clear ziplock bag, knew the best place to have a little breakfast snack, picked up some cheap duty free vodka, got us a prime position at the gate, and then saved us a great seat on the plane with plenty of room for our luggage. All Mark and I had to do was sit back and wait to wake up properly.

After two hours we landed in the middle of nowhere Sweden beside a tin shed – Vasteras airport. There’s not much to say about Vasteras as there wasn’t much to Vasteras. Apparently “customs” is the word they use to describe the hallway from passport control to the front door.

We caught the big gay bus (decorated with rainbow stripes) to the centre of Stockholm, dropped off our bags and then headed out for some traditional Swedish meatballs with cowberry and a bit of tacky souvenir shopping. Then it was back to the hotel for a rest, shower, and more than a litre of vodka before we hit the town.

The first stop was a cosy little bar in the Old Towne, where we just missed the live music and paid the equivalent of £9 or $20 for a vodka, lime and soda. After this we headed out to find some fun and, thanks to the advice of a random bouncer, we found it on the Lady Patricia! Lady Patricia is the funnest boat I have ever been on – three levels of different music and bars and funny Swedish people. We found a live band playing down one end and it was like someone hit the boogie switch, because the three of us literally walked into the room and started rocking out. The evening was a blur of sneaky drinks from Bec’s makeshift hip flask, new friends, poor English, expensive cab rides, lying to the concierge, embarrassing photos, and a hell of a lot of fun!

We somehow managed to drag our sorry butts down to breakfast on Sunday morning, but needed a little nap afterwards to brace ourselves for the cold and steel our nerves for the boat cruise. Hangovers in tow, we took a cruise around the archipelago and saw such amazing sights as the frozen waterfall, the Tivoli Gardens theme park, lots of yellow and orange coloured buildings, the house of a media magnate, some museums, and other interesting things. To be honest, I don’t remember much of the commentary (apart from the guide weaving his autobiography into it) because I was freezing. The rest of the day was great though – we did some more shopping, had dinner at the Boefheus (beef house), watched the most hilarious game show in Swedish, and enjoyed the falling snow.

Monday saw us all feeling a little more chipper, so after another great buffet breakfast (apart from when I set the toaster on fire) we went to a nearby park and mucked around in the snow, before heading to Skansen outdoor museum. Skansen “is the first open air museum and zoo in Sweden and is located on the island Djurgården in Stockholm. It was founded in 1891 by Artur Hazelius (1833-1901) to show the way of life in the different parts of Sweden before the industrial era.” I can only assume that Skansen is a bit like Sovereign Hill in Victoria, however all of the buildings were shut so I can’t be sure. That didn’t really matter, as we had a fantastic time walking around the old buildings in the snow, imagining what life would have been way back then, whilst taking photos on our digital cameras and drinking our Red Bulls. Sparky was a brilliant model, pulling any pose and climbing on any structure that Bec and I requested him to. The animals were the best part – reindeer, seals, bison, and brown bears. It doesn’t sound that exciting, but it was a bit of action in an otherwise rather quiet place. Our final hours in Stockholm were spent doing some more gift shopping, with some tapas and drinks in the Barcelona bar (very multicultural of us) before heading back to the airport.

London welcomed us back with a cold bitch slap and a long and tiring train ride to Liverpool Street, where we splurged on a cab home and declared it a spectacularly fun weekend!

4 comments:

RSH80 said...

Discover yourself.... with Stefen.... discover yourself... with Stefen.

Exciting and new... with beautiul haaaiiirrrrrrrrr!!!!

Moi said...

"Is this Mark Lawrence?"
"Yes"
"Can I see some ID?"
"Well, actually, he's not Mark Lawrence..."

Moi said...

This is Sparky's version of the weekend...

Anyway about Stockholm - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm. I must say I wasn't expecting much from Stockholm , we (Bec, Mandy and myself) simply chose it at random as Ryanair were having a sale. Noone else wanted to come on our little adventure, their loss I say.

Friday after work I had to head home and pack because as usual I had left it till the last minute, including doing some washing :) Bec came over and we had a shandy and b*tch about our work and her crazy flatmate. Lets just say the incompetence of the council I work for has been driving me crazy. Bec has been getting harassed by her crazy South African flatmate who seems to think she is posh (they love that word here) when she is really just white trash - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_trash.

Our flight to Stockholm was at 6:55am and was leaving from Stansted airport so we had to leave our cosy little flats at around 3am to make sure we got there on time. Thankfully we didn't have to catch the train and took a cab out there. This was £65 between the three of us one way but the convenience far outweighed the alternative bus/train option.
After shuffling through check-in like zombies (none of us are morning people) we managed to purchase duty free grog, inhale some sort of breakfast and coffee and made our way to the plane. As I've travelled with Bec before I know the drill but this was Mandy's first trip with us. Bec is one of the best people to travel with as she is always determined to be first in the queue or in line to get on the plane and she didn't disappoint. When you check in on Ryanair flights they don’t allocate seats, it's basically a free-for-all. There is lots of shoving and pushing to get through. I'll give you a rundown on the check in lines. There is one for Priority and one for all the other people. Priority check-in you have to pay for and really isn't worth it. These lines are clearly signed in English and various other languages yet it never fails to amaze me how many stupid people get in the priority line and then when they are told they are in the wrong line complain. Idiots! There was one woman who did this and then pushed in behind us to get in our queue. When I made a comment that she shouldn't have done this and should go back to the end of the line (which of course was loud enough for her to hear) she had a go at me and said how she'd been there before everyone else and had simply gotten confused about the lines. I felt like asking if she failed her basic English classes at school but thought the best of it. She was kind of large and probably could have taken me.

Anyway we got on the plane and attempted to have a little kip before landing in Sweden . Our flight only took 2 hours and we were eventually in Vasteras - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V%C3%A4ster%C3%A5s. Now I hear you asking weren't they going to Stockholm , well yes we were but when you catch cheap flights you never land anywhere near the actual city you plan on visiting. Well with the exception of the trip to Santander . So we disembarked and were greeted by chilly winds and what seemed to me to be a shed with a few lawn chairs in it. This shed was the terminal building. Customs and quarantine were a quick look at the passport, stamp and through we went. Which was handy as I had a kilo of coke in my bag. Jokes mum just jokes :)

We boarded our bus, which we all laughed and called the big gay bus as it had pride colours all over it - check it out here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flygbussarna. Our journey to Stockholm was pretty quiet apart from the lads up the back of the bus who were listening to Michael Jackson very loudly. We arrived at the bus terminal and headed to our hotel which was conveniently right across the road - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_Central_Station
After dropping off the bags we ventured out to explore the city. It was about lunch now so we were desperate for food and found a nice little pub to eat at. I was a little concerned about the trip as none of us knew any Swedish and didn't bring a phrase book with us but we soon found out everyone in Sweden speaks English as a second language. I'd also been told that Sweden was a very expensive country and while some things were a little more expensive, most things were on par with London prices (which I have surprisingly become accustomed to). As we were in Sweden we obviously needed to eat some of the cuisine so we all ordered Swedish meatballs which were delish! After lunch we headed back into the main drag for some tacky souvenir shopping. Well the girls did, I simply followed them round, ok I looked at some things but I was getting tired.

Shopping done we went back to the hotel for nap time. I'm a big believer of nap time on holidays, it helps rejuvenate you for more adventures. Thankfully the girls enjoy it too. After our disco naps we woke up and headed out for dinner. Wanting to keep it cheap we hit McDonalds and went back to the hotel room to consume duty free vodka in preparation for the night before us. After watching some singing show, doing some singing ourselves and filling up Bec's Coke bottle with vodka to smuggle into the clubs (yeah I know cheapskates) we went out for a rowdy night in Stockholm. Our first port of call….yep your guessed it, an Irish pub. It's become a thing we seem to do when travelling now. We had a quick pint there before getting booted out. We wandered through the Old Town in search of further drinks to quench our thirst and came across some commotion with a random man laying in the street. Obviously this man had fallen over and simply couldn't get up (bloody drunks), we watched him for a while but eventually grew bored and continue on. Thanks to some random bouncer on the door of some club we were informed the best place for a drink was a boat called Lady Patricia - http://www.patricia.st/dox/eng_about_us.html

We weren't expecting much and after paying our 100 Krona cover charge (which is about $20) we went in. The bloody thing was huge. It had something like 7 bars, a nightclub and a live music venue. As soon as we hit the live band room all three of us seemed to be overtaken with boogie fever and started dancing. Good times people good times. Drinks were consumed, random conversations with drunk Swedes were had, ACDC was played to which we all screamed along at the top of our lungs. I must admit though I am a poor ACDC fan as I barely knew any of the songs lyrics. We eventually stumbled out at closing, proclaiming our love for the beautiful Lady Patricia and vowing that we would have to return in the future.

The next day after waking up mid morning (surprisingly without a hangover) we headed out to our boat cruise around the archipelago. Stockholm is sometimes referred to as the Venice of the north as it sits on lots of islands. We saw frozen lakes, frozen waterfalls and pretty much froze while sitting on the top deck listening to the commentary about Stockholm and its history. The fella who was giving us the commentary was quite funny as he spliced it with parts of his own life telling us where he lived, his fathers heritage and how he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. We also laughed at his inability to say V. He kept pronouncing it as a W - probably had to be there for that one. On the trip we noticed the Swedish have very colourful houses, lots of reds, oranges and yellows, our guide did tell us about it but my ears had frozen over by this point so I wasn't able to get what he said.

After the cruise we went for a bit more a wander and ate some delicious French hotdogs. The Swedes must love these things because there was a hotdog stall every 200 metres or so. Which brings me to my next point. Over here we have this great store called H&M - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%26M - cheap clothes which are actually half decent. This is a Swedish company and they must love their H&M clothing because every bloody corner had one on it! I'm serious everywhere you looked you saw an ad for or a H&M store.
At this point it started lightly snowing and Bec and I started getting a little excited because as you know we missed the London snow event. That night we went and had dinner at a place called Boefheus which was surprisingly a Beef House! I had the ribs which were delish and we all went home for a quiet night. Before bed we watched this hilarious game show called Wipeout - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wipeout_(2008_game_show) - it's kind of like It's a Knockout. They are making an Aussie version and you seriously need to watch it, bloody funny. As I'm still fascinated by snow I kept 'snow watch' through the night which was basically me getting up during every ad break looking out the window and going 'yep it's still snowing'.

Monday we were much brighter and bubblier. We had a buffet breakfast in the hotel, where Mandy managed to set the toaster on fire, and I ate all the pig I could! I was as happy as a pig in …. well you know. Now it had snowed all night so we headed out to go and play in it. There was a little park/church next to the hotel so we played in the snow, threw snow balls and carried on like fools for a bit. To make the most of our day we headed back, packed and left the hotel for Skansen which is an open air museum. Basically it's a park showing the way in which the Swedish used to live. Plus they threw in some animals just for good measure - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skansen.
It was quite fun to wander round in the snow covered park. It was kind of eerie as snow makes everything very quiet. I ate some snow, threw some snow and made yellow snow, ok I didn't do that but I did tip my red bull on it to make it look like I did :) I of course carried on like a 5 year old jumping on wooden horses, pigs and trying to make goats eat my red bull can. For future reference goats don't eat cans. We went to look at the animals and either the park lied about them or they were hiding from us as we didn't get to see many. The Mink wasn't there, neither was the Lynx or the Elk. We did get to see the foxes, brown bears, seals, bison and reindeer. The bears were the best though! The bison were massive although weren't quite as exciting, they just stood there and ate grass. I should have thrown something at them to make them move :) We went back to the entrance, had a look at the monkeys and did some more souvenir shopping. This is where I purchased Sven the Shark. Sven is one of those lined chiller bags you put your stubbies in and he's in the shape of a shark! BEST. PURCHASE. EVER. He will definitely come in handy in the summer.
W
e had a quick bit to eat at some Barcelona tapas bar and then caught the big gay bus back to the airport. Our flight back was pretty uneventful, well part from the landing which was really bumping due to the cross winds. Bec isn't a very good flyer so it was funny watching her struggle in her seat while we bounced down the tarmac. We then had to catch the train back to Liverpool Street and a cab home.

All in all a great weekend and I will definitely be venturing back to Stockholm to explore it further. I'd really like to head into the country but will wait until summer for that, it's too cold in winter!

Scott said...

Hmm yes well "Wipeout" hmmm, not so funny here, its full of losers and hosted by Josh Lawson, who as you know is Jordan's brother, and who I thought had a great deal of talent through his previous roles and television appearances, has lost all credibility by hosting the terrible so called tv show. It is for sure a "Wipeout"!