Wednesday, June 23, 2010

43 reasons why I am not a bogan

Okay, this blog entry requires a bit of a background.

I'm not quite sure where it started, but for some time I have claimed that I am 43 kinds of awesome. And I have promoted this at any given opportunity, such as the time that I sent my resume to Nathan for a job at his work and slipped in a little PS on my cover letter noting that they should hire me because of these 43 kinds of awesome.

This story then jumps to about a month ago, just before the first State of Origin game. I had been on a few dates with the Accountant, a guy that I met through a friend of a friend. We had been discussing catching up to watch the game, but then I came down with a head cold so sent him an email letting him know that I would be bunking down and staying in to watch the game.

His reply was not quite what I was expecting: Compared to Amanda who although a bit bogan; least she hasn’t got as many head issues and communications are normal

My reply: I don't think you meant to send this to me, did you?

He responded with a gushing email about how he actually meant to email his friend (hi Rach!), whom he had just had lunch with, and said that they were discussing me in comparison to his last girlfriend.

Regardless of the circumstances (him talking about me to others, him comparing me to ex-girlfriends, him being such an effing idiot as to hit reply rather than forward), the Accountant accused me of being a bogan because I like State of Origin.

In response I have come up with a list of 43 reasons why I am not a bogan.

1. I enjoy witty political television dramas
2. I get overly passionate about pate
3. I cook challenging international recipes
4. I live in postcode 4006
5. I set up share portfolios for my nephews
6. I have a penchant for expensive champagne
7. I always use correct spelling and grammar, even in casual or hastily written communications
8. I rave about a documentary series called Seven Wonders of the Industrial World
9. I bought a large flat screen television without the financial assistance of a baby bonus
10. I give cufflinks as gifts
11. I know the 14 different punctuation marks and how to correctly apply them
12. I pay the full balance of my credit card at the end of every month
13. I don't own a tracksuit
14. I don't have a membership to an RSL club
15. I am 28 and don't have four kids
16. I don't argue over the price of a $7 slice of pizza
17. I bought my own apartment at the age of 24
18. I abhor sneakers and jeans
19. I don't watch Home & Away or Neighbours
20. I don't have a Southern Cross tattoo
21. I don't have a t-shirt or sock tan
22. I don't ride a Yamaha Virago
23. I don't have a spoiler on my car, nor do I have mag wheels
24. I use words like "nor"
25. I don't drink beer
26. I have regional preferences when it comes to wine
27. I don't know all the words to Cold Chisel's song "Khe San"
28. I prefer to read non-fiction books, with the exception of Sherlock Holmes
29. I have travelled to (numerous) other countries
30. I have a job as a well-paid 'Strategic Communications Coordinator'
31. I know the difference between red and white wine glasses
32. I have diversified investments
33. I have a gorgeous Marc Jacobs handbag rather than a tacky embellished Guess handbag
34. I was in the First VIII for rowing for two years, and was Captain of Boats
35. I was awarded a scholarship to a private university
36. I own a marble coffee table
37. I have private health insurance
38. I don't buy my cosmetics from the supermarket
39. I don't own any Ed Hardy clothing
40. I bought my car and motorbike outright, without finance
41. I have a French friend, Charlotte
42. I wear neckerchiefs
43. I vote in elections

Feel free to leave comments with further reasons why I am not a bogan!

2 comments:

RSH80 said...

Bugger.... according to this list, I may just be a bogan (i.e. I love my tracky pants, could sing Khe San when I was 13 and, in private, like to drink my Chandon out of those big fish bowl red wine glasses (hate how champas glasses bang my nose!). BOGAN!

Amber said...

So, You're a Cashed up Bogan (CUB) then?? hahaha